excited and anxious at the same time

Monday, September 07, 2020

this is the week, the week that I start being a student at the university, Wednesday is my first class, Wednesday 9am and we start off with having three classes this semester, two on Wednesday and one on Thursday. I'm honestly glad that I don't need to be in classes all week and then also do my reading and assignments. 

I've been having an anxious feeling for a couple of days already and I can't really describe it, it's some sort of being nervous and also being scared. I'm nervous about if and when I get my funding and if I get it on time to pay off things and actually get my books, even if they're ebooks. And that anxious feeling is making me nauseous and my entire body is just telling me "no" which results me in wanting to curl up in bed all bed and cry (and hormones are helping a lot, and needing computer glasses too), but I can just feel that my anxiety is getting worse the more it goes towards Wednesday, I'm reading in on my stuff I need to read tomorrow and have done at least one task for Wednesday already.

However I'm more excited to start and make this the best study I've ever done, I'm in Scotland, I'm doing something I love in the country I love.

Just hope the anxiety lies down quickly and I really need to get myself some computer glasses like ... tomorrow, else I'm sure I'll be skipping out on classes due to my headache. (anxiety, thanks mate)



this will be a sight I'll be looking at a lot in the upcoming years. 

However, yesterday we had a nice day out in the park and Duncan joined us later, where we'd chilled afterwards and played monopoly. was really nice to have a chill day out and offline, extra points because the weather was nice too.

didn't really made any photos because I was just enjoying the day..


 
the weather was so nice, can't remember the last time I actually just felt in peace while being outside and chilling. :)


I tried to look nice.. I tried.


Monopoly time ....



or as what we call it, bankrupt city



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